you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
