What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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