3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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