my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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