You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I got her a Nickelback box set.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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