The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
