Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
