I accidentally had phone sex last night
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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