i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
