I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
