I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
