okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
