Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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