I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
