I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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