I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We were destined to go to rehab together
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize