What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
pray to the hookup gods
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
