I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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