high people should be assigned attendants
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize