How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
