She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
