I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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