dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
