OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
