Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
