she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
