i just google imaged poop.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I FOUND THE LEGS
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
