The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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