Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
someone owes me an orgasm
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
