People with herpes should wear stickers.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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