He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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