Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
