Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
