So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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