Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
