he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
