Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
