Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
