I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
