I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
