Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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