I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
