Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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