Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
