remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
