remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize