she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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