I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize