he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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