Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize