they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
