This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
