my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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