Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
