I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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