The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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