it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
