It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
