Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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